Monday, October 18, 2010

Is Your Popcorn Not Fatty Enough?

If your popcorn isn't disease-provoking enough, I have a few suggestions that can make your popcorn fattier than the fattiest Disney World tourist:

1. Stop making your own popcorn.

2. Start buying them at the cinema.

3. Use a Flavor Funnel - a device which is "engineered to make the popcorn taste the same throughout the bag" by distributing the butter or the synthetic seasoning more evenly. Yeah.

The following is an authentic extract from the Flavor Funnel's own website. I have highlighted the best/most worrying parts:

"We've all had it happen at some point in our lives. It happens to the best of us. It's not your fault and fortunately there is help thanks to Baja Innovations Flavor Funnel. We are of course talking about dry popcorn. There is nothing better than going to see that great new movie release on a Friday night. You order your favorite drink and large tub of popcorn ready to chow down and enjoy the feature film. You drench the top layer of your popcorn in butter and seasoning, you then proceed to shake and shake and shake the bag, losing half your popcorn in the process! You think to yourself - I've really done it this time, my popcorn is soaked. You sit down to enjoy the movie, you then eat the top layer of popcorn and start to notice that buttery goodness is all gone! What happened??? I shook the bag and even lost half my popcorn in the process. Should I run out of the movie and put on more? This is a serious case of dry popcorn."

Yes people. A serious case of dry popcorn. I mean why talk about the fact that a big portion of the world is eating itself to death when we have a serious case of dry popcorn? We should put the freaking UN on this one.

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